Stuckness is a meaningful lesson for soul advancement

You know when you feel absolutely stuck, like no matter what you are doing, you are met with resistance? For me, that could often describe a new technology update or a customer service issue where you have been spinning your wheels for some time. But sometimes it is more serious, especially if I have spent quite a bit of time in my own stuckness, hence getting comfortable with the discomfort.

It can be experienced at first blush as extremely tedious and frustrating. Even painful.

In that- pain – is an important key. Pain is an important precursor for change, the kind of change we have not been able to advance on our own without experiencing discomfort. So, when emotions such as frustration, anger, and other pain descriptors, emerge as a response to stuckness- you are onto a certain trigger in your soul’s eduverse.

Change, in turn, is required for significant growth. If we don’t change we stay in the same, or near sameness.

The universe is contracting and expanding to move you forward from a position where you have decided to get stuck. Yes, you have decided to get stuck. Not usually deliberately, but there we are, hanging onto something that we, in our human experience, deem so important we can’t let go. And it is that very thing that you are glomming onto that the universe is asking you to release because it no longer serves you in the situation.

Let’s pick on me for a little bit to illustrate an example:

Recently, I have been very excited about launching a certain online curriculum.

At first, it was coming along smashingly. Over a few weeks’ time I had created an amazing course curriculum that had me very excited. And that’s where the stuckness begun.

I was learning the technology portion for the online courses and suddenly felt like I had some sort of learning comprehension issue. It was indeed painful. What more, when I went to ask for support there was miscommunication between me and the technology side of the program. Consider the close similarity between the words course and curse. Coincidence, I think not? Okay, that last sentence is part of my favorite coping mechanism- humor. 

“The first realization is the current state of things. Like AA so wisely state in their 12-step program: Admission is your first step to recovery.”

I was experiencing stuckness. 

Here comes the next realization:

“I am only experiencing stuckness as long as I allow it.”

I only experience these as painful as long as I choose to. The same is true for all emotional experiences. You have an awful lot of power in your own experiences. More than we often like to admit. Because admitting it then makes us responsible for change. Oof. Whereas choosing to experience an event as painful also creates a victim stage where things are happening at me, without my control or influence, or (gasp!) my fault. Blaming others is a big part of victim mindset. You can see how it is very comfortable for most of us to remain stuck specifically as victims, rather than owning our roles and changing.

There I was realizing I was living out a victim mindset, holding me back in the same place, exactly where I had declared I didn’t want to be (in either scenario).

“If I can choose not to experience stuckness anymore, I can unchoose it.”

I began to look a little closer at the situation without personalizing it. Technology: I have been wanting to publish online for many years. What has held me back? Technology. I realized I had a subconscious thought track that was telling me technology is difficult. In the past, I have signed up and started creating courses, found challenges, and allowed that to stop me from reaching my goal. Well, law of attraction buffs, you know what that means: By my subconscious telling me online course tech setup was difficult- I experienced it as difficult. I was living out exactly what I was telling the universe I would. And so, it was. To create change and break my stuckness, I needed to create new thougths, new emotions, and a new experience.

“Evaluate where the trigger is for keeping you from moving forward.”

Now I zoomed in even closer to my target: When I experienced difficulty I eventually quit, because I did not clearly ask for help.

This one is deeply personal to me. I do not want to be trouble to others, so I sometimes avoid letting someone know directly that I need big help. Instead, when they don’t pick up on my subtle cues I eventually give up. As a coach myself, it would break my heart to know if one of my students quit because they did not know they could ask for what they needed.

I decided to give it a go. I am sure I do not get style points for how I asked, but I was direct, described my feelings of stuckness authentically and literally said the words “I need support.” Within hours someone reached out to me, assured me help was on the way, and got me out of my technology rut. All I had needed to do all along was to directly ask for support.

The solution was so simple and right in front of me the entire time.

The reasons as to why I needed to experience that pain are likely many and some even still hidden. But learning to ask for help was clearly an important key that unlocked change for me in that moment in time.

 I am not ruling out that it could be related to that as I prepare to teach online, I first need to be a student. As a student, I had past trauma memory that was connected with self-worth, which in turn is based on feeling worthy of love. Those pain experiences were holding me back from evolving to helping others, which I view as a tremendous honor and the reason I was living out the question of worthiness. It wasn’t until I decided to believe I was worthy of support that progress could take place.

To summarize:

·      When I experience pain events, the universe is preparing me for change.

·      Change is prerequisite for growth.

·      Be honest about what I have been experiencing. Toxic positivity isn’t a solution. Honesty is.

·      I am only experiencing stuckness as long as I allow it.

·      Decide that I no longer want to feel stuck. Mean it.

·      Examine the choices that have been made in the past.

·      Closely examine which of those choices that could have been different. If it is uncomfortable, it is probably the one. Try that choice out and evaluate for change.

·      If you experience change you are no longer stuck.

·      Ask yourself what it was that the universe needed you to change to move forward.

·      Depending on how much stuckness you have experienced, this lesson may show up repeatedly until you master it.

·      That is how we grow through stuckness.

 XoXo,

Swede